Star-Date March 9, 2010....these are the adventures of Don Juan Quixote. A noble, gentle man of virtue seeking love in a troubled time. He has been divorced for 10 years now and has had many women enter his life promising love for a lifetime and......so far.....they have all somehow left his side for one reason or another. Most men would have given up by now, but Don Juan Quixote still seek the diamond that floats in a sea of coal. She is out there...somewhere...and she is waiting on him. This he knows...
My most recent break-up has left me heart broken once again. My heart has been broken many times, though, and is becoming more and more resilient as time goes on. I almost have to laugh at myself for feeling sad this time. I knew from the start it would probably go sour at some point because she was too good to be true....and she was. I told her from the start she would break my heart and she would only laugh and say "Baby!...I love you with all my heart and this will never change. We will be together forever!" Of course, at that moment, with the love in her beautiful blue eyes and the sincerity in her soft voice traveling through me like a river of love, I would totally believe her and fall deeper in love with her.
She was 10 years younger than myself, blonde, blue-eyed, thin with a very nice rear. I am a sucker for the 'hips to waist' ratio and have finally realized that it is very important to me when it comes to physical attraction. I once was a 'boob' man, but realized at some point in life that the nice round behind with a slim waist had a primitive draw to me sexually. She came into my life unexpectedly and suddenly and we went from meeting casually through a mutual friend, to signing as facebook friends, to messaging on FB, to driving and meeting halfway between the two hour drive between us for our first dinner...which she paid for impressively. This all happened within a few days.
Our next date would be the very next weekend..3 days later. She came to stay with me and we went out and had drinks, danced, and our first kiss was so powerful and intense that we did not hear the ending to the song and continued dancing and kissing long after the song had stopped. It was one of those magical moments that makes everyone in the bar wish they had that kind of chemistry with someone. The song was "In color" a country song about two people who tell their grandkids about how their love story sounds good, but you should have seen it in color and been there...a very romantic, heart-felt song. We made passionate love all weekend long in many different ways and rooms. It was 4th of July weekend and we were hotter than any fireworks display that weekend.
She came to stay with me every weekend after that first weekend. We sent loving emails and texts back and forth flirting and having internet foreplay. It was an exciting and awesome time for both of us. We told each other we loved one another within 2 weeks of this affair's beginning and though we were both scared, we knew how our hearts felt and just lept. Before we knew it, we were talking about living together, sharing our lives together, growing old together.
She was still living in the huge mansion her ex-husband had bought with her a few years back and was wanting to move into my 1800 s.ft. country home....a very modest bachelor's pad complete with a gameroom and a bachelor's mess.(Guys do not clean the same way women do...we ALL know this!) She had a great job where she lived and I told her she should not come until she found another job. She insisted that she loved me and would 'dig ditches' to be with me.....and i was head over heels in love, so I said "come on, Baby! Let's do this!"
In hindsite, I should have never let her quit her job and move. We were happy with the way things were. She would come down on the weekends and we would miss each other all week long....playing and flirting online and through texts till we were in a frenzy of passion by the time she arrived the next weekend.
She came and prepared the house for the move by painting the rooms first and cleaning the places women think need to be cleaned for a home to smell properly. For the first time in a long time, I was not lonely and as happy as I can ever remember. I was so proud for my friends to see me with this beautiful woman. I could not kiss her or make love to her enough. It was sheer heaven on earth for awhile.....yes, for awhile.
She moved in and things in my bachelor pad were never the same. I suddenly had rules to abide by and things to think about that I never thought about before. The dinner menu went from whatever to whatever she was in the mood for. My plans were not as spontaneous as before and suddenly I had to check with my significant other as to what 'we' wanted to do instead of just going and doing. Things changed....some things were better...like holding someone all night when you go to bed...some things for the worse...having 2 people's bills to pay....and change things did.
Things change in life. I have studied ZEN Philosophy and I love what the Zen Master always says to those who climb the mountain to ask their questions...."We shall see..." is always the answer. It means that only time will tell. There is one thing constant in the world we live in....CHANGE. You can count on change happening. Everything changes...it is constantly changing. Yesterday, I was still thinking about a blog....today....I write the first of many entries. Tomorrow, if I am still alive, things will be different from today. I may have a different perspective on life. I may meet THE ONE on the way to work.....not likely, but possible. Things will change...
This blog will tell the tale of Don Juan Quixote's quest for love. My friends have called me Don Juan for years now.....partly because Juan rhymes with Don and also because I am good at getting girlfriends and not-so-good at keeping them. I will find my way, though, and hopefully find the happy ending everyone seeks. Along the way, I hope to find many readers who can gain better insight into love and share better insight into love. We are all seeking that someone...and if you say you are not, then you are in denial or still hurt from a bad relationship. It's easy to just say "I don't want anyone in my life...I just want to be alone...I'm happier alone." and then you watch that romantic comedy alone and find out that might not truly be the case in your heart if you are honest with yourself.
We're all stuck on this planet together, people. Keep checking in with Don Juan Quixote to explore the subjects of life and love and maybe laugh a little along the way.
I have many stories and adventures to share! Don't go away.....we are just getting started!!!!!
Don Juan Quixote