Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Jimi Hendrix - Bleeding Heart

A little Rock for your world from my friend Jimi...

Wednesday March 10, 2010

So, where were we...

Oh yeah, she had moved in and things were changing. Ladies, guys are not good with change. They like for it to change slowly and without a whole lot of fuss. She painted several rooms prior to moving in, made me cut all the shrubs back around the house, and moved in with 10 times more stuff than I ever dreamed of having. I was ok with it, though, because I was head-over-heals in love. I didn't care if she had alot of fancy glass artifacts that I was afraid I would accidently break. I didn't care that I wasn't even sure what the fancy rug-looking thing hanging from the wall was. (A tapestry, I found out later.) I accepted that these things were important to I just smiled and tiptoed around the glass thingys.

She came and quickly won over my family, friends, and most importantly, my kids. It all seemed so perfect. She seemed so perfect. I guess I knew...deep down...perfect never lasts.

Within a few months, her bills kept piling up. I was unable to keep her bills and my own bills paid and she quickly went into 'beeotch' mode. Suddenly, the sex became more infrequent and the moods began to swing. Complaining about whatever came to mind became the norm at the end of my workday. Yep, the honeymoon had gone sour quickly.
Though we did let each other know we loved one another daily, she just was not the same woman I had fallen for....and I hated seeing her unhappy. It made me hate myself for allowing her to come. We had been so happy before, when she would come down every weekend, and I realized we had jumped the gun by moving in together. Reality bitch-slapped me hard.

But what were we to do? She had already moved all her things there. We were in love and wanted to be together, only the economic climate was aweful and we were realizing that together we were...poor. We did all we could to save money, but there was not even enough to eat and pay all our bills together. We were slowly getting strangled by the economy. It was hard to breathe...
I had found her a few jobs, but she had left a high paying job to come be with me and was not willing to take the ones I had found her. We were together for 7 months, she lived with me for 5 of those. I finally had to tell her she needed to go back home and find a better job there. She had come from a bigger city and the jobs paid better there. At first, we agreed that we were in love and I would try to get a better job in the big city and we could be together. But sometime during her moving, she started getting angry about it all. She went from telling me she loved me and wanted a life with me to telling me the very next week that it was over and we were done. She had a yardsale, made as much money as possible, and left with all her stuff and some of mine...and the most heart-breaking thing to me was that she didn't even tell my children good-bye and they were all hopeful she would be their step-mom one day.

Though my heart was broken, my heart has been broken many times before....and it heals itself. You find things to do. You try to better yourself. You read that book you wanted to read, but didn't have time for. You start working out again with the extra time you have when you're alone. You start writing a blog.

And the kids? Well, I worry what they think of their Dad sometimes, but they are very well-behaved, loving, and full or humor. They know I love them with all my heart and are the most important people in my world...without them, I would truly be lost. My love-life is a constant subject of laughter for them.

I promise tomorrow's blog will be funny. The whole broken-hearted thing gets old....even to the broken hearted. We must all find humor in ourselves. It is a fundamental in finding happiness.

Take care out there and know that you are not alone in this lonely world.
Never quit on life....because you might miss tomorrow's adventure from Don Juan Quixote!!

Tomorrow we'll discuss.....the sex-life of Don Juan Quixote. You do NOT want to miss that!!!