Saturday, April 17, 2010

To be or not to be...a good question.

To be or not to be....that is the ultimate question.   Having a broken heart can make you not want to constantly think about what you lost and what could have been.  You live in the past and think about the good things you now miss.  Your heart aches for the one you loved and eating and taking care of yourself fall to the wayside.  You think because your heart is broken you don't want to be anymore.

When you think all is lost and you can't go on, always know that tomorrow is a new day.  Change is inevitable and this crazy life can throw change at you that you'd never expect in a million years.  I'm not saying that a broken heart quits hurting in time, but it does hurt less and less with time and changes in your life.  

Life is simply a crapshoot where you never know what the dice will roll.  It's actually kinda exciting knowing that.  Today may be mundane and boring....tomorrow could possibly be the most exciting day of your life.
Though I was totally down and out a few weeks ago, I am now in love with life.  I love the changes I've seen and made for myself and realize that one's mind is all you need to make change happen for yourself.

I am now thankful for the love that came to me.  I had real love for awhile and man, was it sweet!   We laughed and loved and had the time of our lives.  We both were very happy together and content simply being together.  It was the love I was always where you love them as much as they love you.
I am grateful and thankful to have had this in my life.  It was worth the heartache to have had it in my life.
I was able to feel something most will never feel and will cherish this for the rest of my life.   Though the relationship didn't work out, I am not going to analyze and re-analyze the fact that circumstances beyond our control forced the premature ending.  It was not that there was a lack of had more to do with the economy and tragedy in life that caused it.   I could be sad over it the rest of my life.....or I can just be happy and thankful to have had it for awhile.

I now await what life will send my way next.   I have lived a very full and exciting life that most would say would have taken two lifetimes to do.   I have been very blessed.   I have done many things in this crazy lifetime....and one thing I can truly say is that I have LOVED.   The story of a love is not as important as being able to is, perhaps, the closest glimpse we are permitted of eternity.

With that in mind.....I choose TO BE.